A review of the season.

There's plenty reviews of the season about at the moment. I felt I should write one myself. So here it goes...

It was a busy summer deep in the bowels of Ninian Park. Levels of expectation were at fever pitch, so high that they were actually tangiable. Unfortunately for experienced Ninian Park groundsman Wayne Nash the expectations became tangiable within the Grange End goalmouth! This forced the club to play its first three matches of the new Championship season away from home (Far from ideal for the club from the South Wales Valleys). Thankfully after losing 4-0 to eight-man Barnsley the expectation levels had dropped significantly leading to the Ninian Park pitch becoming playable once more.

The season began with Dave Jones very busy scouring the loan market after a terrible case of knotweed had decimated the Cardiff City dressing room. The Ninian Park trouser press in particular had taken heavy damage with Roger Johnson refusing to conduct interviews with the South Wales press while his trousers were in such a poor crumpled state.

Relations with the press were further damaged later in the month when a freak radioactive waste accident in Dinas Powys left City winger Willo Flood with half human-half rat DNA. The resulting media storm was instant with South Wales Echo chiefs doctoring pictures of the tenacious Irish midfielder by combining images of Flood with famous rats. A picture of Willo Flood in full Manchester City kit merged with 80's Breakfast TV star Roland Rat proved to be the final straw with Cardiff bosses who quickly released another "Stadium goes unconditional" story to divert attention away from the rattish Irish starlet.

The resounding defeat to the Tykes shocked the Ninian Park bigwigs who had invested millions of pounds during the summer months on actual big wigs to cement their place as bigwigs at the Ninian Park club. Steve Borley's wig (a light puse and electric blue combo) was the most impressive. It really caught the imagination of the South Wales public with the Western Mail releasing a limited edition "Steve Borley wig Commemerative Egg Cup and Spoon set" that sold out within hours of going on sale. However an S4C documentary on the wig was later cancelled before being shown after public interest in the wigs plummeted after Gavin Henson was seen wearing a cheap knock off version all to easy to get hold of west of Port Talbot.

Stay tuned for Part Two....

Actually don't. I'm rubbish at this.